Healing-Feelings

Provides short-term, solution-focused, highly interactive psychotherapy

Healing-Feelings

Provides short-term, solution-focused, highly interactive psychotherapy

Treat Yourself Well

Everyday we make choices that impact our feelings. How do we heal feelings that are constantly wounded or create choices that enhance, rather than detract from the quality of our life? Therapists help us explore reactions to situations and the choices we make, which are sometimes artifacts of childhood rather than deliberate decisions.

We are products of patterns learned earlier in life. They guide our sense of safety and rewards. What we learn about ourselves and how to relate to others is usually a result of childhood experiences at the hands of powerful influences, such as parents and peers. These lessons are difficult to learn and become habits, established by a system of positive and negative rewards. Old habits die hard and require a firm commitment to be altered.

For instance, occasionally we dislike what is occurring and expect others to change, perhaps employing anger. Some of us have learned helplessness and withdrawal from uncomfortable feelings. They may simply forego their needs and passively please the other to avoid conflict, pout, or use numbing drugs, alcohol, or overeat. Frequently, we elect to remain in unrewarding situations, feeling uneasy and frustrated. Why do people routinely choose these painful options?

Seven powerful, unconscious forces that motivate behavior are discussed below:

Approval-seeking

helps us feel valued and liked by others.

Failure-avoidance

helps us feel protected from risky situations, which may threaten self-image. 

Rejection-avoidance

helps us feel loved and valued.

Responsibility-avoidance

helps us feel worthy & valued by evading fault & blame via excuses

Guilt

assures us that we usually behave differently.

Anger

 helps us feel more powerful.  

Righteousness

helps us feel superior by judging others as inferior.  

The behaviors described above become an unconscious part of our personality, perpetuating childhood patterns into adult coping skills. These personality traits govern our relationships with family and friends. Self-defeating behaviors and attitudes are changeable. However, we must take responsibility for our unconscious choices, rather than blaming others for their own unique personalities. Few people are true victims; most continue their own hurt by ignoring their options. These opportunities are automatically blocked by the unconscious mind, which has long ago decided how to function in similar circumstances.

Psychotherapists have many approaches and tools for managing the varied difficulties people present. One way that therapists help clients is to identify painful patterns and assist them to understand why they are perpetuated. Clients then evaluate available options and determine motivation for change, including assessment of risk, such as rejection. Finally, therapists help clients follow through with consistency. Most clients achieve their goals more quickly than anticipated.

Misery is Optional!

APPOINTMENT

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"My experience with Harvey has transformed my life! I recommend him to all my friends that are looking for a straightforward, down to earth, supportive counselor. I was in much need to do some "fixing" (as we all are) and Harvey gave me all the right tools to make changes emotionally, psychologically as well as spiritually. "

~Lynndzie

Harvey saved my life -and my husband's! I had been through 17 years of foster care and so much abuse! My husband came from a family that seemed to be perfect until it all fell apart and caused so much damage to all of the adult children! He and I have now been married for 12 years and have a great relationship! Thank you Harvey!"

~Tracy